In a world of Zoom preschool and masked playdates, I reluctantly set out to write the typical Stay-At-Home-Mom-During-COVID blog to relay zainy toddler escapades while renewing my zeal for life. However, as I reflect on the life that is so incredibly far from what I imagined years ago, it is obvious that anxiety, fear, and panic attacks have held me back in EVERY aspect of that life and now become an almost hourly occurance. The intention of this blog is to document my path to conquering the undiagnosed immobilizing panic and show that it is never too late to discover the person you envision.
Step One – Realize that what I feel is anxiety and panic attacks – and how miserably I deal.
Among numerous stressors today, this blog has an error message. After hours of unsuccessful troubleshooting, a panic attack ensued – complete with tears, shaking, head to toe sweating, and numb extremities. Somewhat intense, you say? Regarding a website error? I should mention that I am a trained and certified (but not practicing) counselor who identified this panic attack after a three hour playground break (I am also a mom.) and a glass of wine (really two because I prefer beer).
Typically, I would: 1) Get to this draft, assume failure, and bail. Or more realistically: 2) I would not have attempted a blog in the first place. It is some improvement that with water in my wine glass, screen time for my darling superheroes (more on them later), and the panic still threatening to erupt, that I continue to plow ahead to publish. As a parent navigating a global pandemic, there is no more necessary time to demolish panic.
Cheers to sharing thoughts, new and old ideas, and hearing from readers about ways to struggle together, individually in order to create the life that we imagine.