Positive Energy Battles Anxiety

I was heartbroken to hear that I have become the selfish, toxic person in my loved ones lives. In my younger days, I thought that I was a calming force in my relationships. I prided myself on being even keeled and laid back – thankful for everything that I had and always finding the good in situations and people. I aspired to be that cliche person who lit up the room when they entered. For a time, I think I was making my way toward that person- at home, at work, with friends. Regrettably, I have neglected to reevaluated this aspect of myself in quite some time and jittery negativity has taken root. Therefore, in addition to the goals of becoming a better mom, finding employment, and eventually earning my SO’s respect back, scribble in regain positivity/lose pestilence. I anticipate that a positive outlook will alleviate the nerves and panic that have taken hold. We’ll see…

Enter Reiki

To rid myself of this cynical, defeatist aura or more accurately – blocked chakra, I decided to try Reiki. In my first session, I literally shocked the practitioner as my negative energy unloaded. I picture her releasing(?) my chakra and the toxic spark literally jumped right out of me.

Additionally, one’s Throat Chakra, located in, you guessed it – one’s throat – encapsulates communication, which has always evaded me. During and after the session, my throat had become eerily soar, though the pain receded temporarily when I apologize to my SO during a notable conversation. More recently, I could swallow cleanly when I walked away from a potentially charged situation. Hmmm…

The practitioner taught me to perform Reiki on Batman and Robin before bed. And I have been using a program I found online to administer Reiki on myself. This has been quite helpful especially if I have time to steal away during anxiety provoking situations.

I am game to become an outstanding influence on my little superheros so they thrive in their top notch ecosystem. Maybe Reiki will help.

Me and my panic inducing life

Picture this… SO and I have moved cross country twice now, once with our beloved dog and back again with an additional 2 toddlers that we will call Batman and Robin…

Fast forward 2 years, my anxiety is through the roof and panic attacks are immobilizing. Is it because every night I am answering bedtime questions like: How do skeletons climb out of the grave? Do bad guys sleep? Why do Zombies bite? Or is there some other underlying issue like the mediocre school system and unremarkable community upbringing that taught me to make excuses instead of control my fears.

Everyone is anxious to a degree and comes across fear-inducing situations at one time or another. The difference is that high achieving individuals have learned to overcome these feelings, so that they are able to continue to move toward their life aspirations. In other words, they have not allowed their anxiety to become debilitating panic. Therefore, if I can teach Batman to visit the potty without fear of an accompanying ghost, he will be ready to utilize any school, store, or porto-potty without hesitation, leaving him plenty of superpower to study abroad or climb the Andes if he desires. Likewise, if I had pushed myself to speak with confidence before 40 years old, then I would not have such a fear of interviews or public presentation, which inevitably would have lead to a greater level of employment.

There is no time like the present!

As I listen to Robin mutter, “What the hell?” at Blaze and his Monster Machine TV riffraff, it is clear that: 1) Not only do I have to teach a 2 year old not to curse, but 2) He has to learn to reply to (inevitable) nerve-rattling situations with responses that will positively dictate his fate.

Anxiety Solutions Update

Recently, I have discovered an awesome podcast called “The Quote of the Day Show | Daily Motivational Talks” by Sean Croxton. There are many that I have enjoyed, but a standout features Tony Robbins: “You are not your Behavior, You are Not Your Feelings.”

Additionally, Patricia Becker is a yoga instructor whose class I frequented about 10 years ago. She has a website https://yourhealthandjoy.com and classes on YouTube that will brighten anyone’s day.

A friend sent me a mind opening Zoom link: Beyond Breath: An Introduction to SKY Breath Meditation. I have only enrolled in the introductory session, but I am excited to learn more.

My first Reiki session is tomorrow! I am eager to report back…